When I go to the club, I see it as a game. I hustle and charm the girl until I get her phone number. Then I take her out to dinner and try to score. If she doesn’t come through, maybe I take her out again, maybe not. It depends on how attractive she is, what I think my chances are, a lot of things. But once I make it, I’m not interested in her any more. I don’t call her again. I mean, sure, I would like to get married some day but I wouldn’t be serious about any girl I found in a place like this. I figure if I can pick her up, someone else can too, and I wouldn’t marry a woman like that. You’d always be thinking about how many guys she’s had and whether she might do it again.
When it comes to a marriage-focused relationship, looks are important to me but I have to be able to communicate with her too. My first girlfriend was a high school dropout and not attractive. It was my first sexual experience so I was mesmerized. It was like a new toy. After a year, the novelty of sex with her wore off and I couldn’t stand her. I would try to carry out conversations with her and I would get frustrated by her inability to catch up with ideas. She was a good cook, though. It went on for another year and a half so I could go on having sex. I felt I needed it. It was like a comfortable shoe. After that, I just couldn’t take it anymore so I broke it off. I was active in the dating game after that, then paused for a while until I met my present fiancée.” — [name withheld]
Today, many men exhibit a typical double standard: they don’t think premarital sex is necessarily morally wrong for men or for women, BUT they don’t want to marry a woman who has acted as they do towards casual sex and engaged with multiple partners. Their attitude is more pragmatic than moral. If they can pick a woman up and seduce her so easily, other men can do it also and may do so in the future. This type of double standard reflects the dynamics of male investment. Men resist investing heavily—emotionally, financially, materially—when other men have invested little in order to have sex with her.
Some so-called playboys who enjoy “easy girls” internally have high standards when it comes to choosing a wife. How he found her. Where he found her. What kind of mindset she has. How she will raise the kids. What kind of future they will build together.
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