I think a lot of men divorce sex from relationships and feelings. The one thing I am looking for is a relationship with a lot of communication. Real honest talking. Most men don’t want to talk. They want to go out, and go to dinner, and have sex. I talk openly to them if they want to listen, but they seldom do. I want to be friends, but not many men want to do that. Every man that I’ve ever gone out with has just wanted to go to bed. They say right on the first date, “I think you’re attractive. I want to make love to you. Let’s just make love.” I don’t understand why sex is so important to men. So many of their actions seem to be dominated by their arousal.
I would like to go out with a man and have a really good time and have him drive me home. I could kiss him on the cheek, or he could kiss me on the cheek, and we would look at each other and say, “I really had a good time. What are you doing tomorrow?” I would love to have a man court me, bring me flowers, all those things. But it just doesn’t happen. Sex always comes up first. Many men say jokingly that you’re supposed to put out by the third date—at the latest! I think they are only half joking. I would love to have that kind of sexual attraction held in the background for a while. I love it when it’s an undercurrent—when you know it’s there, but it hasn’t become obvious yet. Then it’s a lot more fun and meaningful when you do become sexual.” — [name withheld]
Today, many women cannot understand why men apparently do not want the same things as they do in order to enjoy a loving relationship. These women want sexual intercourse to be part of a relationship that includes attention, affection, caring, verbal intimacy, and sexual fidelity.
Most men, on the other hand, appear to enjoy sex for its own sake, without these accompaniments. They also enjoy having sex with a variety of partners and expend a great deal of effort to do so. These male desires are so foreign to some women that they are incomprehensible. Some other women feel they have been victims of these male desires.
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