Why do I act the way I do?
Two things define us – elegance and acumen. When we walk into an auditorium, our apparels do the introduction. Before we announce our presence, I’m usually hasty to take the first step in. With my bright-coloured bodycon dress, dangling earrings and a fascinator has asked you to give way, I glance to the left and right, (to catch all eyes on me) I take a deep breath and grin. I wobble my butts from the north to the south, as if to say “I got to show ya’ll what mama gave me”.
Meanwhile Akos is impatient; she wants to quickly grab a seat, call the waiter’s attention and make unrealistic demands for a certain way of seating arrangements she’s not too comfortable with or alter the menu. Abena, on the other hand, wishes to step in unnoticed. She’d have asked the lights went out until she assumes her seat. She’s also the last to say “hi” or even admit to have seen anyone. As for Akua, she goes with the flow. Whether anyone notices her or not, she’ll still rock it like it is.
While Abena is thinking of why and when to take orders/initiatives, I decide whether to take it or not; but for Akua, it’s a Yes sir all day! And oh! Akos is the Boss chick, she takes no orders yet makes all the demands.
Now, can I honourably introduce the Unique 4? – I, your love, Adwoa, I’m the social butterfly, fun loving and very optimistic. I love attention too; Akos, the Boss Chick, is authoritative, principled, impatient and a natural leader. Akua the Sassy Queen? Calm, peacemaker, understanding and highly tolerant. But Abena the Night Star, is shy, quiet, emotional and takes too long to decide. Together, we make your heads roll. See ya! *wink*
Do you relate with any of these characters or know anyone who does? Or have you ever asked yourself, “why do I act the way I do?” Well, I’m here with some answers I believe would help to discover why. Hold on! TEMPERAMENTS!!! Do you know this is why the Unique 4 act differently, given the same condition?
Join us, let’s pick a stroll.
Like the Unique 4, studies show that likewise, there are four temperaments; Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic and Phlegmatic. From the story, I’m the Sanguine, Akos is Choleric, Abena is Melancholic and Akua is Phlegmatic. To decode some of these traits, you’ll have to read the story again to find out who is what. #smiles
I present to you more traits of the UNIQUE FOUR
| SANGUINE
(adventurous) |
MELANCHOLIC (perfectionist) | CHOLERIC
(boss) |
PHLEGMATIC (peacemaker) |
| Pleasure seeking | Withdrawn | Natural leader | Calm |
| Optimistic | Pessimistic | Determined | Follower |
| Center of attraction | Shy | Outspoken | People’s person |
| Talker | Quiet | Authoritative | Sociable |
| Carefree | Cautious | Irritable | Understanding |
| Easily forgives | Holds grudges | Short-tempered | Even-tempered |
| High sense of humor | Serious | Goal-oriented | Passive |
| Good communicator | Analytical | Impulsive | Operative |
| Energetic | Slow to take decision/initiative | Strong-willed | Very caring |
| High self-esteem | Fearful | Takes control | Committed |
| Contented | Demanding | Never satisfied | Appreciative |
| Live in the present | Talented/gifted | Serious | Lively |
| Easily gives up | Passionate/sensual | Completes tasks | Motivator |
| Messy | Very organized | Principled | Adaptative |
It will interest you to know that an individual may possess two or more of these qualities but one will surely dominate. That notwithstanding, each temperament is unique in their own way. If you learn to appreciate yours as you learn about your spouse’s, your relationship will soar like an eagle and blossom like sunflowers.
Go ahead and tell us what your thoughts are.
A wife: The binding Force of Marriage
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is the best – Kin Hubbard
The beginning of every marriage looks beautiful and attractive until there are endless chores to attend to. As wives, maintaining our homes also includes our husbands and children. When we find ourselves in the bracket of career women, there is usually a window out in striking a balance between work and marriage. Some of us have little or no insight on time management to make this work. We must bear in mind that our family is our priority so we can’t neglect them from our daily chores.
HOW TO EASE STRESS
As a couple, it’s advisable to multitask and delegate responsibilities when necessary. However, a career woman should be slow at employing the services of a stay-in house help otherwise, she runs the risk of wrecking her home. Woman, you can always manage your home with the help of your husband, so when choosing a lifetime partner, be sure to choose the one that is willing and able to help you do your chores when time is against you. Note this: you’re not obliged to complete your daily chores at all cost. Therefore, avoid looking clumsy and confused in the quest to complete your chores; always seek a helping hand when you have a lot on your plate.
WHAT MIGHT GO WRONG
A prayerful wife is all that a man can ask for since most men don’t make time to pray. Prayer in itself isn’t a vice but if it causes you to chirk your marital responsibility, then eyebrows will be raised. It is alleged that some women are itchy to visit every women’s fellowship once an advertisement hits the airwaves, neglecting their roles as wives and mothers. One may ask, “What is the point of worshipping God when at the end of the day your husband finds himself in the arms of another woman?”
It’s high time some women shunned “disturbing” God in the guise of prayer for their negligence and irresponsibility. If this happens, more work will be required to restore your home and marriage. What’s worse? Some women tend to change their dress code when they start this fellowship kind of thing; dressing as oldies and losing their sense of humor in the process. Dear wives, if your husband wants you to wear tight clothing, why not? WEAR IT FOR HIM. If he prefers loose clothing, kindly do same. Remember, both the Quran and Bible teach obeisance and submission to our husbands. Another aspect of concern, apart from food, is sex. Deny him that and watch your man unravel his true colors.
THE PATH TO TAKE
Peace of mind is something you can’t trade for silver or gold. Any home will be a haven if it provides just enough. A peaceful home is the one we all look forward to returning after a hard day’s work. If the home is peaceful, a man will confide in his wife when he is facing challenges because he knows there’s a good listener who will neither accuse nor judge him. You can be that woman whose man yearns for her whenever she’s away.
What’s more? Give him a shoulder to lean on, be his sunshine when the sky seems dark and your man will ask for nothing else in return but all of you. In addition, be there for your children, choose to be the mother every child would wish to have, and always show appreciation to your husband with the little effort he puts in place to ensure happiness and provision. Discipline your children in the most suitable way but don’t instill the fear of their father in them. Lest, they perceive him as mean and uncaring. Teach your children to love and care for their fathers just as they love you. Worship with your children and husband as often as you can. Most importantly, let God lead in everything that you do as a couple or family. Try sharing bills once in a blue moon to cut down the burden on one shoulder. To build a happy and stable home, it’s about love and care anytime, any day.
